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Turn-ons are a great starting point to teach someone about your body and what works for you. Talking about turn-ons allows you to talk positively and won't make anyone feel bad. It's easy too by saying things like; 'I liked that', 'that felt …good …tingly…really sensitive' and is a great way to make your relationship more open and intimate.

Here are a few tried and trusted conversation starters to inspire you. 

A more intimate relationship

  • Talk about what you like to do together
  • Talk about how to get more of it
  • Ask what your partner likes and build on it

How can we keep things interesting

Sex can get boring if you only ever do the same things in the same ways. By talking about trying new or different things before you try them, you’ll both be reassured about what will happen during sex and it’ll stay exciting. 

When's a good time to talk turn-offs?

It's better to talk about turn-offs before you have sex than deal with them in the heat of the moment. By talking about what you do and don't like, you'll get a much better idea of whether or not you're suited to one another. Not only that, you can talk freely without sounding critical or denting anyone's confidence. Here are some conversation starters to help you cover off turn-offs, no-nos and boundaries.

Respect the right to say no 

If you find that someone is trying something, or doing something you don’t want them to, follow this advice.

Put a hand in the way or move anything that's not where it should be and gently but firmly say "No" or "Stop please".

Even if you have agreed to try something you can change your mind at any time.

If you do something they don’t like and they ask you to stop, you must respect that and stop straight away. The best way to find out what your partner does and doesn't want is to talk to them before you end up in bed. For tips on how to talk and listen well, see our page on conversation starters, picking the right time and talking tips.

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A fresh start

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