Healthier Scotland. Scottish Government

Splitting up

Should I stay or should I go?

Assuming you're not in a relationship where you're suffering abuse, nobody can answer this question for you.

Bear in mind that, just because you haven't felt like sex for a while, or have had a couple of arguments, it doesn't mean that your relationship is at an end - all relationships go through rocky patches.

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Getting dumped

Being dumped is never good and most people agree it feels worse than if you ended the relationship yourself.

Try to remember that if the other person isn't happy, even if you are, eventually the strain will start to show in other ways.

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Look after yourself

Feeling hurt, angry, crying and having a big dent in your self-esteem are all normal when a relationship ends.

Try not to be alone too much, talk about it with friends or family and get support where you can.

Avoiding too much alcohol or drugs, keeping up a good diet, keeping active, exercising and getting good sleep will also help you cope better while you recover emotionally.

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When you really need to go

If you are suffering any kind of physical or emotional abuse, or are worried about the safety of your children, it may be best for you to leave.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse, contact the Scottish Domestic Abuse Helpline at any time on 0800 027 1234.

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Positive break-ups

Breaking up with your partner needn't be the end of your friendship. With a little effort and compassion, it's often possible to retain some of the good parts of your relationship.

Any kind of break up can be hard, so give each other some space and time to recover. In the meantime, keep in touch as best you can.

Being friends in future will be about finding new ways to enjoy each other's company.

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Keeping in touch

This can be difficult at first, but is important if you want to stay friends and can be vital if children are involved.

When you do meet or speak, try not to go over old ground or repeat past disputes.

Don't expect your old partner to get along with your new one.

You might also find it helpful to have other people around the first few times you meet after a break-up.

Try to meet in public places rather than alone at home, preferably somewhere fun where the two of you won't be the focus of events.

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Getting help and support

If you're having problems, it might help to get professional relationship counselling, family mediation or family support. This can help even if you decide to split up in the end.

To find out what's available and for more information on how these kinds of support can help, visit the Relationships Scotland website.

Ending a relationship can come with a lot of grief and heartache - just as much as if someone you love has died.

If you're feeling down and need to talk to someone in confidence, call Breathing Space on 0800 83 85 87 (Mon-Thurs 6pm-2am, Fri 6pm-Mon 6am).

Alternatively, call The Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 at any time.

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