Healthier Scotland. Scottish Government

Ready for sex?

What kind of relationship do you want?

Many of our closest and most important relationships in life are non-sexual. It's okay to want different things from relationships and you shouldn't feel pressure because someone else wants to have a sexual relationship with you.

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What are your feelings?

Do you feel strongly about this person? Do you feel a strong connection with them? Can you have a good laugh together as well as talk easily with them? Do you feel respected and do you respect them?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, you should think carefully about whether having sex is the right thing for either of you.

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Do you feel safe with this person?

If you don't feel safe with them in normal circumstances, you're likely to feel very uncomfortable if you decide to have sex with them.

If you don't know the answer to this question, you're definitely not ready to have sex yet.

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Can you talk with them easily about your feelings and what you want?

Good sex is all about good communication.

Being able to talk openly with someone is essential if you're going to discuss important things like what protection you want to use, what you like to do and what you don't want to do.

Need some hints on how to talk about sex and sexual matters? Check out our section on how to talk sexy.

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Can you trust them?

Ask yourself, if you can't trust them generally, why would you trust them with your body, your sexual health and, most importantly, your feelings?

If you don't know the answer to this question, you're definitely not ready to have sex yet.

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Are you thinking straight?

Could something be affecting the way you feel right now? The choices we make can be seriously skewed if we're under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Or has there been some major change in your life that's affecting how you think and feel? Could it be that you're just looking for some human company, a bit of distraction and some fun?

If so, maybe you should think more about what it is you really need to make yourself feel better. In the meantime, you might find some useful pointers in our section on making choices.

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