Healthier Scotland. Scottish Government

Cyber Sex

What is cyber sex?

Cyber sex means using text messages, internet chat rooms, email or instant messaging to exchange sexy chat with another person. It could be your regular partner or someone you've met online. It can involve only talking or flirting or partners can masturbate during a cyber sex exchange.

Some people only use text, others will take pictures or videos of themselves using webcams.

The key to good cyber sex are communication and imagination. It's all about painting pictures in the other person's mind and responding in a sexy way to the things they send to you.

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What are the risks from cyber sex?

Although there's no risk of sexually transmitted infections, there are other risks from cyber sex.

Someone could make your sexy chat, pictures or video public. This could be highly embarrassing and could impact on your job and your other relationships.

If you're 'cybering' (having cyber sex) with someone other than your regular partner, it could change your feelings towards them. You may feel guilty - the emotions involved in cyber sex are just as real as with any other kind of sex. If they find out, they could feel hurt and betrayed.

Worst of all, someone you meet online for 'no ties' cyber sex sessions could track you down in the real world. It's hard to judge character over the internet - they could turn out to be nasty.

Lastly, you need to be careful that the person at the other end is legally old enough to be engaged in sexual activity. Otherwise, you could get caught in a police sweep for online paedophiles.

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Reducing the risks from cyber sex

There are some easy ways to reduce the risks from cyber sex.

In case your sexy chat goes public:

• never use your real name - even with your real-life partner
• use a different screen name from all your other login and usernames

In case your sexy snaps or video go public:

• don't post any shots of your face
• be careful not to show any tattoos or other unique marks

To avoid trouble with the law:

• ask how old the person is first. If you suspect they're under 18, say 'no thanks' and log off
• don't engage in cyber sex fantasies that would be illegal in real life
• for pictures and video, stick within the UK laws on decency

To stop cyber sex partners tracking you down in real life:

• don't give out your contact details
• don't give details of where you are in the real world
• don't give details of real world places you visit
• avoid giving details of your job, friends or leisure activities

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